CEO's Ruminations: Cryptocurrency Blackmail

I was sitting in my office contemplating the big issues confronting human kind – where to have a glass of bubbles for the evening, Cantonese or Thai cuisine – and I started typing. I am not sure why, but I do know my mind, especially in our continually more frightening world, simply cannot stop considering all sorts of issues with which we are confronted.

Thus, the birth of The CEO’S Ruminations

I plan to put fingers to keys twice a month to let you know the problems I see floating across my iPhone or computer screen along with solutions the wonderful I-OnAsia professionals can offer to ease the potential pain caused by the same. Simultaneously, I hope to make you smile, perhaps a bit, with my somewhat lighter approach to these darker issues. Join me in the quest to sally forth into the night without fear or loathing. I welcome your critical feedback, bad or good, but hopefully well-intentioned and reasonably polite. Until next time… Derek

Cryptocurrency Blackmail: “Commit The Oldest Sins The Newest Kinds Of Ways” – Henry IV, Part II, William Shakespeare

Leave it to Shakespeare to predict modern day blackmail via cryptocurrency. Good on ya, Billy!

Seriously though, cryptocurrency is a digital currency that uses cryptography for security, is difficult to counterfeit and, in theory, is both immune to government regulation and provides anonymity for the user. The darling of all cryptocurrencies may be Bitcoin, which currently is bestowing upon the brave astronomical paper returns. A wild ride for sure, but one that rivals even the best night out with the fellas!

Blackmail, which is when a lazy-good-for-nothing threatens to reveal information about a person or his/her loved ones that is potentially humiliating to, damaging the reputation of, or possibly incriminating the victim unless a pecuniary demand is satisfied.

When you combine this relatively new method of transferring value between parties with the attitude of “if you do not give me money, I will tell our teacher that you cheated on the exam”, you encounter a powerful tool…and it is sadly available to all.


First, the lack of government regulation and anonymity engenders a feeling of invincibility within the blackmailer. If Big Brother neither is interested (yet) nor capable (watch this space) of stopping the evil-doer, then evil he/she shall pursue without trepidation. Equally, if no one can trace the money, then sally forth he/she shall to the land of milk and honey.

Second, and here is the crux, any idiot with access to the Internet and a warped sense of right and wrong can play this game. It is no longer the realm of super-geeks with mega-computing power. Finally, and of immense importance, the stakes can be very high when the regulatory, legal, technological and moral obstacles are effortlessly defeated via a click of a mouse.

Alas, the words of The Bard resonate heavily in the ears of the businessperson, father or mother, celebrity…well, let’s just narrow it down to everyone!

Never fear, dear readers, as I-OnAsia is here!

We have put together a world-class team of law enforcement, legal, forensic accounting and super sleuths (your author, humbly, included) to combat these scallywags!

Where regulation fails, we excel. Where law enforcement scratches its head, we provide the anti-itch problem-solving expertise. Where technology becomes the playground of the malevolent, we don our crusader’s cape. Where morality reaches the deepest circles of Dante’s Inferno, we descend with our convictions.

Simply stated, we have the right people, unparalleled experience, creative problem-solving skill sets and a ruthless dedication to righting an age-old wrong.

Having said that, we recognize the many ever-present difficulties when combating a virtual foe.

As such, we recommend the following approach:

  1. Do not get your knickers in a twist. The blackmailer is hoping to scare you into doing something stupid like, well, paying the “male” (Middle English for “rent” or “tribute”).

  2. Do not engage in any additional form of communication with this base animal.

  3. Think twice before involving law enforcement at the beginning. Someone may be watching you. If necessary and at any time, your local constables will be ready to assist. In the first instance, you may wish to consider other less public options.

  4. If we were not clear about “…doing something stupid like, well, paying…”, then we apologize. DO NOT PAY!!!

  5. Save all communications, audio, visual or otherwise.

  6. Do not be ashamed, regardless of the threatened exposure of your conduct. You are the victim. The blackmailer is the bad person.

  7. Call me!!!

We believe the undoing of all invincibles (save, perhaps, Super Man or The Hulk) is hubris. As with Icarus, who flew too close to the sun, or Macbeth, who could not reign in his desire for power and position, the blackmailer is his/her own worst enemy.

Our multi-pronged approach employing the skill-sets of our well-experienced professionals, offers the best chance to resolve this matter in a cost-effective, efficient and private manner.

We are not arrogant enough to beat our chests and shout the oft-heard cry “we always get our man.

However, we do posses the experience (not our first rodeo with cryptocurrency blackmailers), skill-sets (our creative, problem-solving professionals) and the passion (we really enjoy our work) to battle against the commission of the oldest sins and squashing the same by I-OnAsia’s newest methods.

We hope not to hear from you regarding blackmail or the equally ugly crime of extortion.

But if the Devil knocks, please tinkle. We know him, and we are ready to hasten his return to Hell!

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